This time last year I was getting cleared up at work ready for a year off on maternity leave. As I look back on my fresh faced, naive self back then I can only laugh at the expectations I had for my year off!
Expectation: I was going to give the house a good clear out. To be fair I had already done a bit of clearing out in order to create a nursery but as I was quite heavily pregnant at the time a lot of stuff just got moved into our ‘junk room’ and I figured I would deal with when I no longer resembled a hippo!
Reality: The junk room is now worse than ever! All the things my son has outgrown- car seat, bouncer, jumperoo, baby clothes etc. have been added to the collection and I can’t even bring myself to open the door anymore!
Expectation: I was going to try lots of new recipes from the mountain of recipe books gathering dust in my kitchen and dinner would be sitting ready for my husband coming home from work.
Reality: Dinners have to be quick and easy as carrying a baby around in one arm doesn’t really lend itself to preparing dinners with 49 different ingredients! Often my husband comes home to nothing prepared so either gets a baby handed to him or has to make dinner himself!
Expectation: I was going to catch up with friends and have lots of play dates with other mummies.
Reality: I made plans to meet up with everyone but this often never worked out between children being sick, clashing nap times and general craziness of family life! The few times we did manage a meet up we probably had about 5 minutes of conversation between shouting ‘get that out of your mouth’ and ‘it’s not nice to bite your friend’.
Expectation: I was going to get out for long walks everyday. When people found out I was having a baby in July everyone said how great it would be to have a summer baby and I could get out in the sun everyday for leisurely strolls.
Reality: Firstly as I live in Northern Ireland there wasn’t any sun last summer, just rain! Secondly for the first few months after he was born I was lucky to find time to brush my hair never mind look presentable enough to venture out the front door! To fair as I have a dog we did manage to get a quick walk most days just long enough for the dog to do her business then dash home again before the baby did himself damage screaming for his next feed!
Expectation: I was going to catch up on all the sleep I had missed out on while pregnant. After all when baby sleeps, mummy can sleep! I had read that newborns sleep for 16 or 17 hours a day so that would give me plenty of time to sleep plus do some housework!!
Reality: My son obviously missed the sleeping module at newborn training camp as he only slept a fraction of the aforementioned 17 hours and naps were often in 20 minute intervals which made it impossible to get anything done! As I mentioned in a previous post his sleeping hasn’t got much better as the year has progressed so I am still seriously sleep deprived and there isn’t much chance of doing housework while he naps as I’m scared to move in case I wake him up again!
In conclusion if you are going on maternity leave soon and are planning on becoming super Mum and domestic goddess during your time off I’m afraid it isn’t going to happen. I know all the other mummies on Facebook have up photos of the amazing time they are having on maternity leave and it is true you will have picture perfect Facebook moments which you will want to unashamedly share with everyone but there will also be some not so pretty moments. So maybe my year off wasn’t productive in the way I had planned but I managed to produce another human being and watch him grow into a pretty awesome little person and that is better than anything else I could possibly have achieved this year!
New Mum Fun 
I stay home with my kids and I can say the expectations I had of how amazing it would be and how awesome I would be were quickly crushed! I appreciate your honesty as a fellow mom blogger who has no fear in sharing how perfectly imperfect I am as a mom.
Toni @ http://www.becomingschultz.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
Got to keep it real especially for any new mums as looking at social media can be a bit misleading that life with kids is sunshine and smiles everyday!
LikeLike
I relate to this SO much haha! Seems like babies are the ruiners of expectations and it just gets worse with each baby haha! But they’re totally worth it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So far I just have one and can only imagine the state my house would be in with another baby!
LikeLike
I felt like you wrote this post based on my own experience with my maternity leave. I think people who give advice about how great and easy certain aspects of having a newborn will be, have completely forgotten what it was like or had an amazing sleeper baby from the get-go. Anyways, you’re in good company! I can relate to everything you wrote.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are many expectations and realities, I relate to a lot of it, I just went on permanent leave!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am due back to work next week but if I could go on permenant leave I would!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reality doesn’t always turn out like we plan it. I’m glad you were able to stay with you newborn though, I had to work shortly after with each of mine. And I never had time for facebook perfect photos, lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know I have been very fortunate to spend a whole year with my baby. Can’t say there have been too many perfect photos but life isn’t perfect so I know behind every photo there is bedlam in the background!
LikeLike
First: How awesome is it that you got a whole year of maternity leave… I’m a jealous American over here
Second: As a SAHM I can attest that I rarely get half of what I attempt finished. These little creatures we create really put a wrinkle in productivity!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes we are very lucky to have the option of a year long maternity leave although most of mine was unpaid but it is good to know I can take that time off and still have a job to go back to!
LikeLike
This is so true – I was exactly the same at the start of my maternity leave… I soon realised I’d got it wrong lol!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Definitely true! Except I am insanely jealous of a one-year long maternity leave. In the US we are lucky to get 6 weeks. I worked from home for a company and was only able to afford 2 weeks off (with them begging me to start working again after one week) after my emergency cesarean. I didn’t get much done in those first few months for sure!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s awful, after 2 weeks I was still shuffling around the house and could just about manage to sit!
LikeLike
Maternity was never as glamous and fun as I expected it to be. I can’t believe you got a full year!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes we are really lucky to have the option of taking a full year but it has gone so much faster than I imagined!
LikeLike
I could have written this! Maternity leave was a total blur and, 2 years later, a lot of the jobs on my to do list are still on there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t get maternity leave as I wasn’t working at the time, but I know from friends that they can totally relate to this! The reality is never quite as you imagine!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve yet to meet someone whose maternity leave lived up to the expectation. Mine was only three months long as I had my own company and had to get back to the helm so literally got to do nothing I envisioned haha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure those three months just flew in, by the three month mark I was just beginning to feel like a functioning human again!
LikeLike
I need to live in Northern Ireland. I don’t even get maternity leave. Bleh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know I am really lucky to be allowed to take a year out and still didn’t manage to get anything done!
LikeLike
This is great!! I basically do nothing while on maternity leave…well besides taking care of children. This is great advice for new mamas.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Taking care of the children is a full time job itself!
LikeLike
I found a lot of my friends who’ve recently become mothers and it’s interesting to see what they expected vs what’s happened. They’ve all become amazing mothers though!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I looooove it as soooo true. The difference between expectations and reality!!! Hahaha. Then we do what we can the best we can. Thank you for this refreshing and excellent post
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was good to read. I haven’t been on maternity leave before but now that I’m working and were considering a 3rd child, this was good to know! Thank you!
LikeLike
THANK YOU!!!!! When I had my nearly 3 year old was born (in July too)I had all these plans which I now realise were fantasy although you’d think I’d know better with her being my 4th! Like you I was going to become a domestic Goddess but the reality was I was just trying to survive each day and keep 4 kids alive. Thanks for a great, honest post
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that is good going keeping 4 kids happy! I can just about manage with one!!
LikeLike
Expectation: I’d be just like Martha Stewart meets June Cleaver.
Reality: I’m more like Roseanne Conner meets Kitty Foreman.
Hahaha being a mom is fun!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so laughing at this because it’s so relatable! I’m 17 weeks pregnant and a FTM and I think I’m guilty of some of these fantasies! Sounds fun, haha 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
There is soooo much of this I can relate to. My recovery from the birth took 4 months so they were a haze of pain and discomfort. And my son didn’t get the sleeping during the day memo until he was 8 months old. I did nap with him then though!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This so hilarious. All you have written is relatable. At the end of the day, the babies are the bosses xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great read. Although I have not experienced having kids yet, I have am idea on what maternity leave would really be like. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am definitely an overachiever so this was a great read! Seems like surviving the first year of motherhood is a great feat in itself!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so true! You think you’ll have loads of time to do everything but babies need a lot of attention and you end up being too exhausted to do anything.xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t have many expectations for my maternity leave. My first baby was a terrible sleeper and suffered from colic too, and the first six months just went by in a haze. We did go outside every day though for a walk, whatever the weather, and he was a November baby.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My mum went on Maternity leave and never returned. Due to health problems with myself it was impossible to work and so I can safely say she would agree that you do not turn in to a super mum domestic goddess haha! Although I think most mum’s are super mum at one time or another Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you were at least able to take a year off! Many people aren’t that lucky. I bet it was amazing watching your baby grow up!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes I was very fortunate to be able to take so long off and spend that time with my son as they grow up so fast!
LikeLike
Haha! Keeping it real. I hear you! This motherhood malarkey is hard work. I don’t think I achieved anything on my last maternity leave bar keeping us all alive. 🙂 x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Being a mom to a newborn is tough, but I actually did get out and go on runs with my daughter. I think it really depends on your baby. We had a chill baby and a bouncer was our lifesaver. We could put her down and get stuff done, so we didn’t get have to carry her around a lot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Truth for sure! I feel like that every time my mom friends and I get our kids together…. no real conversation at all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the honesty! It’s hard to do anything when you have a baby! And I’m right there with you on the sleep deprivation. My baby is about a year almost and we still barely sleep! I have a great article on that (even published on Motherly!). One day we will sleep! 😂
LikeLike
I think everyone should get a year for maternity leave. I was shocked after I moved to the USA to find out that it wasn’t a standard thing! So glad you were able to have it – even if you didn’t get everything accomplished that you wanted to. Your kiddos were glad to have you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know I’m really lucky to have been able to enjoy a whole year off!
LikeLike
I wish they offered a year off for maternity leave here in the states. It would be nice to have the time to bond with your child.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know we are spoilt here and I still wasn’t ready to go back after a year!
LikeLike
I can relate to all of these! I tried to do so many things when my first son was born. Now with my second I’ve given up on doing anything besides feeding him! And I’m doing much better!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This post sings all types of truth!! I thought I was going to do all this and some on maternity leave.. hahahaa, jokes on me! And by the time everything started getting normalized again and I had energy and a schedule it was time for me to go back to work so we had to relearn a new schedule!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t get to make it to maternity leave when I had my first baby because I ended up quitting the job due to complications from the pregnancy impacting my attendance. I do have a lot of mom friends who work outside the home and their expectations of maternity leave were shattered once the baby arrived.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Everything you said is spot on! It’s so funny how we think life will be like when we have a baby and it ends up being so far from what we had planned!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so real!!! When I was on maternity leave, my coworkers thought I was on vacation! I hated it because I felt pressured to come back to work right away. They did not realize the new life I was living.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are sooo right. My maternity leave was equally wonderful and miserable! Only becaus I expected it to be mostly wonderful 😂 Thanks for the honest post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gas! Yes can totally relate to these realities! My spare room is a sight go sore eyes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sure that is what spare rooms are for!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was the same way ion my maternity leave; reality is so different than our expectations.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is great. I totally relate the expectation v reality thing on maternity leave and just having a child in general haha x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha!!! Hilarious and so true. I’m learning to accept some of the realities of maternity leave now. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
This had me cracking up the entire time. I had every single one of these expectations when I had my first and then reality set in….sad face…glad to know I’m not alone…ha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Can so relate to this. I was trying to do a lot of things during my maternity hols but ended up doing nothing.
LikeLiked by 1 person