7.00am I’m just awake, as soon as my eyes open up I jump straight out of bed, I can’t believe I’ve wasted all night sleeping when there are so many more things I could be doing! I am determined today is the day that I finally figure out why the drawers in the kitchen don’t open anymore and perfect the art of climbing out the window! Mummy is so strange, she wants me to get in to her bed for some cuddles with her and daddy but I’ve just got out of bed, why would I lie down again already?! I bring her her slippers and set them on her head to make sure she understands that it’s actually time to get up!
7.30am Finally we make it downstairs, mummy is so slow in the morning getting out of bed and shuffling around her bedroom. I normally have to start to take things out of her bedside table and throw them down the stairs as that always seems to speed her up a bit.
8.00am After a quick drink of milk I have to get to work. Once again someone has wrecked the living room after I went to bed, I had my toys all scattered over the floor where they belong and some crazy person has put them all away in boxes at the side of the room so now I have to start tipping them all out to get everything back into it’s proper place on the floor, a toddlers work is never done! Mummy offers me breakfast but clearly I am too busy to stop and eat right now besides I would rather wait and see what she and daddy are having for breakfast and just eat theirs.
8.30am It’s time for daddy to go to work, I’m pretty mad that he doesn’t take me with him in his van, I like sitting up high in it and watching out for cows in the fields and lorries going past. I suppose I better stay at home and get on with my own work though, there are always binmen, postmen, road sweepers, delivery vans and oil tanks to watch out for. It is probably a good job I stay at home to keep an eye on these things because I doubt mummy could manage it all on her own.
9.30am Time to help mummy with the chores, first we put all the washing into the washing machine and I like to pop any other random bits and pieces I find lying around in too just so everything is nice and clean. Next mummy vacuums the floor but I still need to go after her with my own vacuum to get the bits she missed. Finally we empty the dishwasher, I like to try to lift out all the plates at the same time but mummy seems to think I will drop and break them unless I take them out one at a time, not a very efficient way to do things but you have got to pick your battles so I’ll let her think she is in charge this time!
11.30am Feeling a bit tired after my morning’s work so I climb up for cuddles with mummy and read some books. She seems to interpret this as nap time, I like to kick up a bit of a fuss when she tells me to go to sleep but I suppose a quick nap will do no harm.
1.30pm Lunchtime. We are having sausages today, although this was my favourite food yesterday and I ate two jumbo sausages I’m just not in the mood today so everything mummy offers me to eat I say yuck and spit it out. I wait until mummy’s back is turned and tip all my food on the floor so our dog can eat it instead. I think this is hilarious but mummy doesn’t seem to find it funny, she really needs to find a sense of humour!
2.30pm Time to take the dog for a walk. Mummy gets me all bundled up in my coat and mittens, I don’t know why she bothers because she knows I will pull off my mittens and throw them in the first puddle I find! I’m getting fed up sitting in my buggy so when we get home again mummy lets me run around and play outside for a while. It is so much more fun outside with all sorts of things lying on the ground that I can stick in my mouth. This is another of my classic jokes that mummy doesn’t seem to get either!
4.30pm Mummy says it is time to go inside again but I’m not ready to go in, there is a whole big world out there to explore! I let mummy know how mad I am when she brings me in by lying on the floor screaming but it never seems to make any difference. After a while I forget what I am mad about and mummy lets me watch Fireman Sam while she makes the dinner.
5.00pm Daddy comes home from work and I’m really excited to see him. I show him all my handiwork in rearranging the house while he was gone, I’m sure he is very impressed, he seems shocked by all my hard work anyway.
5.30pm Dinner time. This is my opportunity to get artistic when I can spread my food all over my high chair, myself and bonus points if I manage to get some on the dog. Mummy and daddy just sigh and says it doesn’t matter because I am going to the bath now anyway.
6.30pm I love bath time, splashing is the best bit, I am in competition with myself to see how much water I can get out of the bath and onto the floor every night. I could happily sit in the bath all night even after the water goes cold!
8.00pm Time for supper and bedtime milk, this makes me a bit sleepy so I snuggle up on mummy or daddy’s knee for a bedtime story. I insist on reading every book I own, mummy says this is called procrastination but I know she enjoys the bedtime cuddles as much as I do so she doesn’t mind reading 20 books! Mummy and daddy tell me to close my eyes and go to sleep. I’m not ready to go to sleep but I suppose it would be ok if I just closed my eyes for a minute….zzzz